Very lazy days...

この頃、いわば「どん詰まり」の日々。
公私ともにいろんなことがあって凹凹・・・。それでもやらなきゃいけないことは消えてくれない。私じゃなきゃだめ。だれかの助けを求めるのもかったるい・・・説明したり納得してもらったりするのが面倒・・・だからひとり。でも何でもかんでも私に覆い被さっているみたいでやだやだやだ。
そういう思いに陥ってもう長いんだけど、爆発発作がでるのはこの10日ほど。爆発した後に、「私はいよいよ心の病気だ」と覚悟する。完治にはどうすればいいのかもわかっているのに。でも踏み出せない。

そんな中、MTEC卒業生のJCさんから届いたメール。こんなビデオクリップが紹介されていました。
それを見て、nanaは何を思う？
Nick Vujicic - - 希望、勇気と感動の人生 (日本語字幕)


I've been feeling "stuck" on everything. Both privately and officially.
But still, my responsibilities never vanish.
Not someone else, "I" have to do it...there are so many things to do. So many routine works, so many responsiblities every day.
I don't want to ask for help, because it's tedious to explan what or why.
I've been in this mood for a while. But it's about 10 days since I explode my stressed feeling. Almost every day, when I'm preparing for dinner.
And after every explosion, I tell to myself "It's emotional disorder, nana".
I know the biggest cause of this, though, I cannot step forward. This will lead me to destruction of my life. I'm scared of that time.
I know the time will come, but not now.

JC, one of my ex-colleagues, wrote me yesterday. This video clip was introduced in it. JC got a cerebral infarction last year, and is undergoing rehabilitation now.
What do you think at this video, nana?
Aren't you too weak and fragile??